Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
