That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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