I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
you traded sex for a burrito?
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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