It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Less talking, more tequila
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I need a burrito and a hug.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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