the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
