the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
