her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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