Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
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I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
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I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
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