If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
i believe in u and ur pee
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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