we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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