ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
