Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Randomize
