my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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