And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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