I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
