Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
