STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
