and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
