I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
