i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
