If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
