Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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