trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
