playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
