my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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