dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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