dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
