So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
