Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
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