Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
