Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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