Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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