he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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