eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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