i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
