How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize