well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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