idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize