Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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