Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
At least make sure they are 18
Why
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
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