He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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