Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Randomize
