Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
