I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
