I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Randomize