woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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