Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
i out mim tonsoeep
Randomize