hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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