If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
