but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
