She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
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