we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
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