So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
