So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
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I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
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He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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