So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
