The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
