I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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