giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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