my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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