is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize