you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
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