does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
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