you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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