Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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