In the future we'll all be gay
I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
